I have been truly self-convicted for some things in my life, and I guess as I get older, the more I notice when Satan is trying to lure me into another one of his easy-falling traps. School is going very well. I am excelling, but not for a lack of SERIOUS trying. I tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to school. Nothing less than an A is good enough (especially when I am paying $3000 a semester for my own education). And in order to get the A, studying is an absolute MUST. I have been studying probably 75% of my time. The other 25% has been either sitting in a class or eating. This "time" doesn't include sleeping. I get about 6 or 7 hours of that a night (otherwise I am quite unpleasant to be around). So naturally things like spending time with family, talking to my husband who is traveling, and talking to God have fallen short on my "to do" list. The funny thing is though, I have had this voice in my head saying that "God lead me down his path, so this is the way it is supposed to be". And its not.
At bible study last night, we got on the topic of Satan using pathways, ideas, and mind-sets that God has placed in our lives and he twists then around to keep us further from God. Therefore, taking away our gracious thankful attitude towards the blessings that God has given to us and turning it into angst and frustration. I found myself after the first week of school skipping "big church" to go home and study, skipping bible study to stay home and study, and even sitting in church and going over the origins, insertions, innervations and functions of all of the muscles of the upper extremity. Satan was really toying with my head making me think that my life must be consumed with the fact that A's are all that matter, family and loved ones will wait, and God put me here, so why should He care if I pay Him any attention while doing what He wants me to do? But that's the thing. I am a future physical therapist, but I am a child of God, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend first. All of these things shouldn't suffer just because I am in school. I found my self missing out on really good bible study, fellowship, and even quality conversation time with Steven.
So after a minor melt down last night at bible study, I realized that I am actually spending TOO much time studying. I know that is almost not possible when you are in a graduate program, but I have just got to force myself to give myself a break. Take a night off and watch a movie, or when Steven calls, put everything down and just tell him how my day was and what I found in my dead guy that day. And also, I need to spend more time with God everyday. Without Him, I wouldn't even be in PT school in the first place. So who am I to ignore Him when I get started with His next plan for my life? It is a work in progress, but I know that I have the family and the friends and support system to get me through this. I have been trying to do this all by myself, and that is just not how it is going to work. And I am okay with that. Stay Strong, Pray Hard and God Bless.
P.S. First Anatomy written test and practical are OVER! I am happy!
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